my life – lung cancer and my family

me and me kids this morning

me kids and i travelled up to birmingham uk on sunday just gone. me ex wife- “the wicked liar”- returned me kids on sunday @ 12 noon as arranged. she had been in birmingham herself that week and i offered to do the ‘hand over’  in brum, but she selfishly declined. this ment that me mom (a pensioner) had to drive down to newquay cornwall friday, and then drive us all back to birmingham on sunday – i didnt understand the importance of going to brum, but i didn’t moan. me mom said that me dad was coming round to see me when we arrived on sunday night – why? she wouldn’t say.

it’s a long four hour drive from cornwall to the west midlands. we arrived at about 5:30pm. me dad arrived at me mothers house at around 7pm. his wife came also. we said hello and i went upstairs as they all talked down.  i was trying to research about roman hastati – early republican era. my mom then called me down stairs- me dad wanted to talk to me. me dad and i have never been what you would call close and i was expecting a lecture about my ‘habits’, you wouldn’t think i am nearly 40 years old!

i sat down and me dad said ” now look, i’m ill. i’ve got lung cancer.”  all i could reply was “oh god.” i made sure that i didn’t start crying, it was a struggle, but i managed it. i asked all the usual questions. he has been a big smoker all his life. he said that he didn’t know whether it was small cell or non small cell, but said that the tumor was about  5 1/2 inches in size. i asked him if he had any appointments to attend whilst i was in brum, and did he want mt to come with? he said that he had a appointment on wed, and i could go if i wanted to.

that appointment was today. i went. i am staying at me moms whilst here in brum, and me and the kids got ready to go over – with me mom- to me dads. we arrived at his home at around 12:45 noonish. his wife and her adult daughter were there with her grand daughter. me dad would like to think of us as a close step family, but this just isnt the case, i feel. not through lack of trying – how much can you say to some- one who aint interested in what you’ve got to say? should you even bother? never the less it’s polite. the kids get on well, thats the main thing. we leave after around 20 minutes to go for a meal at a local carvery. the food was ok, and reasonably priced, but i just couldn’t eat it.

after a while me dad, me and his wife leave for the appointment. it turns out that the tumor is 4 centimeters- not inches! and he has lots of options open to him. i was surprised that the doctor never made a big issue of his smoking- when i was a child i can remember me dad smoking 60- 80 park drive a day, everyday. i remember sitting in the back office at the bookies, with a absolute thick fog of smoke wafting about. at times it was choking and even knocked me out! he claims he only smokes 20 menthol a day now, but i know me and i doubt it. i aint one for knocking a man when he’s down, and nagging just aint my style.

the doctor showed us the tumor on his computer and as we walked away from the hospital i felt at lot happier. i walked in expecting to hear ” well mr. so and so you’ve only got three weeks left.” this just isnt the case. life expectancy wasnt even mentioned. from what was said it looks like there might be a course of chemo therepy followed by surgery. me dad recons he’s going to be able to carry on with his work, travelling here and there as normal- i cant see it myself. i think that it’s going to really knock him about.


About daddyfumanchu

update: i got me kids back.... so there!
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